Coping up with difference of opinion
The google search meaning of “difference of opinion”says “a disagreement or mild quarrel”. Can we have a disagreement or a quarrel with our stakeholders and client partners?
Maybe not, sometimes yes, we are pushed to the situation. Most of us would have faced a sense of disagreement in our workplace due to a multitude of differences be it culture, work experience and thought process. We have our own do’s and don’ts, approaches, solutions and process modelling. If there is a counter opinion here are suggestions to resolve disagreements in a subtle but efficient way.
1. Never judge any statement on a bias mode
There could have been experiences where in some discussion in the past, the speaker’s approach was rejected or undervalued. Never tie this to an individual and come to a conclusion that the person’s stake would be wrong in every case. Do not tie back the speaker’s previous experiences with the real time scenario. The speaker’s approach in the past could have succeeded or failed, but that had nothing to do with the present situation.
2. Never take cues from the conversation
The human body sends 11 million bits per second to the brain for processing, yet the conscious mind seems to be able to process only 50 bits per second (Thanks to Britannica for the stat). With so much thought processing, human beings tend to make a lot of assumptions. At times we lose track to interpret whatever the speaker tries to say or we are obsessed too much on exaggerating the counter approach in our own mind. This can help us lose track of the speaker’s point of view. We need to be disciplined to give our focus to the speaker and just absorb the thoughts. Simple as that!
3. Listen to the complete narrative, Do not interrupt.
If the above step is skipped then the half baked counter approach haunts us and we interrupt the speaker. The miraculous part over here is all of this would happen in a fraction of seconds. Interruption is fine if the topic is deviated, if not then patience is the key to listen to the speaker. Great leaders have not only been good speakers but also good listeners.
“Everyone wants to be heard but nobody wants to listen!”
4. Start to map down the impacts
Draft the approach in any visual form in the form of a RAID map, dependency map, flow chart, block diagram or a user flow. Any form of visual representation can align the thought process on a common note between the speaker and an individual/team. With the clear impacts laid, it adds to the clarity and then we can relate to the counter opinion of the approach we had in mind. Proposing out thought after this point would help the speaker to rationalise leading to no repercussions.
5. Sometimes, it’s better to keep the question of Why something went wrong? aside
If the discussion is about something that has gone wrong in the past which can be a critical production issue or a wrong business metric tied to success criteria, the discussion should be focussed on two questions
- How to avoid the problem in future?
- What is the root cause of the problem?
Getting into discussions too much on Why this issue happened? Or Who is responsible for the problem to happen? can ruin the purpose of the discussion
To conclude
Everyone of us wants to be heard and understood. The conversion of thoughts to words spelled from our mouth is an energy that varies from person to person. The fast moving world has instilled the thought that speakers are powerful. A lot of schools and academies teach interactive speaking skills. But on the other hand we can be a good speaker only if we are a good listener. Listening skills are equally important to speaking skills. The art lies in balancing the seesaw! If that’s balanced there could be less or no difference of opinion.
Thanks for making it to the end of the article!
Happy reading, Cheers!
